Here's the thing...

It’s a strange thought, isn’t it. I’ve thought about it for the past few mornings when I took the road the opposite direction into town. It’s a flat and dusty road – fairly good by South Sudan standards and, if you take it in the opposite direction, it passes through some oil outposts, dry flat bush occupied by a mud tukul here and there, and the army’s checkpoints. You make a left at one junction and then you’re headed straight into Mayom County. I went there a few weeks ago because I had destroyed my computer (another tedious story involving my falling through the floor and spilling tea on it) and some friends were on an official visit and it seemed like something interesting to do with an otherwise wasted day. Apart from a couple of buildings, a bunch of tukul compounds surrounded by dried reeds, a broken tractor - there’s not much to Mayom town. There’s just a bunch of people living out there with their kids running around playing with tire rims and trucks made out of tin. Ou...

I like to think of myself as a fairly 'tough' person. I'm not afraid of snakes, scorpions, spiders, or other animals in general. I like to think that if you leave nature alone it tends to leave you alone. But then I came to Unity state and am living at the UNMIS team site. Within the chain link and barbed wire fence there is a strange ecosystem of animals and insects that seems to have gone crazy. I'm afraid that nature is considering not keeping up its part of our little bargain. What makes me think this? Well, nothing in particular but let me give you some examples: There are packs of mongoose (mongeese? mongi?) roaming the grounds. I like mongoose (singular). I've never seen them (plural) travelling in packs but the team site is ridden with them - they travel in packs of 40-50 and have been seeing taking on the packs of feral dogs (will get to that in a moment). Now, in general, they stay out of my way and I stay out of theirs but when I go out for a run ...

I think that if I pretend that I haven’t ignored this blog for an exceptionally long time and just start writing again that no one will notice… Today I was struck by several acts of generosity that were conveyed to me for no apparent reason by people who stood nothing to gain by giving them. Let me back up… I am in Bentiu, Unity State – a state that was ravaged by war, dominated by oil, and is, still, as close to the wild west as you can get in the world today. Different political factions swagger around town with their bodyguards (read: private militias) in shiny suits and land cruises with guns pointing every which way out the window. It is hot, and dusty. At just about any moment you expect a show down to in the open street complete with tumbleweeds and that classic western music. It’s not a place where you expect extreme civility but one is always surprised. I am helping the Ministry of Labour and Public Service to implement an HR system. That might seem like a mundan...

There’s a fund in Southern Sudan which is something everyone calls a ‘pooled fund’ and that means that instead of donors giving their money to whatever they want they put it into a big fund that is run by the government and the UN. The problem with this particular pooled fund is that it’s been badly managed and manipulated by the powers that be and so has actually delivered practically nothing. This is nothing surprising here where funds frequently don’t actually disburse money that has been committed to the people that need it. It sits in bank accounts in New York, DC, and Nairobi and accumulates interest (to the tune of $1 million dollars in the case of this fund) and no one is really the wiser nor upset by the matter. Which makes me ask: why? And that niggling question led me to think about the economics of aid about which already volumes have been written so I won’t bore you with too many details however, if we think of aid as an economic transaction where someone is giving mone...

I was reminded this week that I used to be an interesting person, to whom interesting things happened, and I used to write about those things in this very blog. This week, however, when I received an email from a former avid blog reader reminding me that I have an interesting and 'adventurous' life I decided to look back over the past week and figure out why I don't blog as regularly anymore. One look at my schedule told me why: Monday: 10am: Meeting with ODI 11am: UN Country Team Meeting 12.30pm: Meeting with NGO 2pm: Meeting with Budget Sector Working Group Co-Chairs 3.30pm: Meeting with DevInt 6.30pm: Handover meeting between Steering Committee Chair and Deputy Tuesday: 11am: Security Management Team Meeting 1:00pm: Meeting with UN Agency 3:00pm: Meeting with Swedish Donor 5:00pm: Meeting with an NGO 7:00pm: Dinner with National NGO Bored yet? Wait for it...the week only gets better! Wednesday 1:00pm: Meeting with Pooled Fund Managing Agent 2:00pm: ...

I would like to apologise to all those who might be reading this and are aware of this purely fictional incident and may not find it as amusing as I do. Any resemblance to characters living or dead is coincidental...although all of them lived, for the record. Once upon a time I got a phone call from an NGO who had people involved in a security incident in which there were reports of heavy gunfire. Their field compound was smack in the middle of the action and their HQ located in a town - let's call it Luba - called me to see what can be done. Now, everyone knows that you shouldn't call me unless you want me to do something and, after more unsuccessful attempts on their part to get someone mobilised in the field area to go check on their compound, they gave me permission to do this. Well, low and behold, we (note: change of pronouns not related to disseminating blame) managed to get the 'army' mobilised to go and check the area. Unfortunately, they found themselves ...

My brain is too small to chock it full of the miscellany that flies at me everyday. Hence, I would like to make a list of all the things that I refuse to remember: 1. When the rainy season begins and ends in Sudan. 2. People's names if I've met them only once or twice. Or, anyone who has a contract shorter than six months. Or anyone I find immemorable. 3. Anyone's birthday. 4. Any phone number. 5. Most meeting times. 6. Sphere standards humanitarian indicators. 7. Anything told to me before I've had enough coffee in the morning. 8. In what state Kwajok is located. 9. Where Nigeria is located. 10. On which border Pakistan neighbours Afghanistan. 11. The type of printer cartridge my printer takes. 12. How much wine costs at Logali. 13. The fiscal year of the U.S., Canada, UK, or any other donor country. 14. How to make excel spreadsheets do just about anything nifty. 15. Flight times. One can simply not save the world and remember all the details. So, i...

Over the course of my life I have seen any number of looks of terror. The incidences usually begin the same way, as they did this morning. People just standing around some place - including bystanders such as myself - an unmarked vehicle with no license plates pulls up and men jump out. They are usually armed...no, I take that back...they are always armed. Menacing, threatening men. They always act with an air of importance, impertinence and swagger. Sometimes they have uniforms, sometimes they don't, depending on the state sanction of their activities. They wave the guns and point them at nearly everyone in the vicinity. They begin beating someone - also usually either a bystander or someone unimportant until they get the information they want. Others who try to intervene also get beaten or a gun pointed at them. There is always yelling. Eventually, the people they want are dragged out to the car. Sometimes they are fighting; sometimes they go quietly. But they all, and alw...

I like to think that there is a special state of mind into which frequent travelers often descend. You will know these people by their irksome calm when they, in the same awful travel predicament as you, watch calmly as you lose your temper. Their bags might be missing, their flight delayed, or cancelled, the airline clerk being a heinous twat and yet they stand next to you with that placid look of acceptance and love for the airline clerk, and the airline industry - and universe at large. Sometimes, I enter this state of travel zen. No, I don’t enter it…it usually descends upon me for no apparent reason and in those moments I feel calm – and somewhat superior. I’d like to think that most of my travels over the holidays I was in that state. Flight from Amsterdam cancelled…no problem. Flight to Boston cancelled…no problem. Flight to DC cancelled…no problem. I was the poster child for travel zen. But now the universe is tempting my resolve. I am set to fly DC, to Amsterdam, to Nairo...

--> My watch stopped at 11.12. Standing in the airport our watsan advisor asked me why I was wearing a stopped watch. “I like it,” I said. I didn’t mention that I thought it was appropo of going out to the middle of nowhere the day of the U.S. Election. No electricity, no televisions, no phones, no contact with the rest of the world for a week. It would be like time was standing still. No McCain, Palin, Obama (poor Biden…never got much of a mention). It would be blissful in it’s own cocoon sort of way. Tuesday night I went to sleep with the mice, lizards and bats scratching out a living in the top of my tukul smug in the knowledge that my blissful ignorance might carry on for a full week. There have been few things that I have cared less about than this election and it’s nice sometimes not caring – about everything just because we’re told that we should. But then, on Wednesday morning, I was awoken by the squawk of a badly tuned radio catching a frequency on and o...

The amount of time I spend in meetings discussing issues of grave import that are forgotten a month later is obscene. I mean, really.

I now have a 'commute' in order to get from my house to the office each morning. It has become more complicated recently so I thought I would detail it in case you are ever trying to find my house: 1) Let the guard open the gate. 2) Wait for guard to remove puppy from beneath tires and keep him from running out open gate. (dumb dog) 3) Proceed with caution to avoid hitting other vehicles and/or school children who linger outside gate. 4) Turn left and proceed until the dirt track becomes a dirt football pitch. 5) Drive diagonally along the football pitch until it dead ends on a dirt road. 6) Wait for any SPLA vehicles driving out to their base as they contain men with a lot of guns. 7) Angle vehicle onto dirt road to avoid jarring bump. 8) Avoid mattatoos, people out brushing their teeth, water trucks, septic trucks, and school children. 9) Upon arriving at the large tire go right and proceed up over giant mound of dirt. 10) Drive on the right side of the n...

blatantly pilfered from John Ashworth... Why Sudan Matters Jon TeminSudan team leader, U.S. Institute of PeacePosted: November 24, 2009 06:04 PM Foreign policy realists sometimes ask how much seemingly marginal states such as Sudan really matter. The answer is that Sudan matters for many reasons, none more important than the millions dead and displaced due to decades of unnecessary internal violence. Sudan matters now more than ever because two seminal events are quickly approaching -- elections in 2010 and a referendum on the unity of thecountry in 2011 -- and the international community is increasinglyconcerned that they will lead to new and renewed violence and displacement. With the recent release of its long-awaited Sudan policy, Sudan matters to the Obama Administration and its efforts to transform the president's popularity abroad into tangible achievements. But Sudan also matters because what is happening right now in Sudan,and what will happen in the next two years...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8369689.stm Sure...they say they 'don't know the reason why' but I'm sure she's not wanting to draw attention away from the full implementation of the CPA through the January 2011 referendum. Bless you, Oprah, bless you.

It was one thing when UN IT blocked YouTube. I could understand that. Then, they cranked it up a notch and killed Facebook. That stung a little bit. Then, they blocked my sister's blog which, I'll give you could be perceived as undermining the UN at times. But now they've gone too far. They've banned my blog. Yes, like I say anything that could be taken as vaguely critical of the UN! It's shocking and it cannot be stomached. Time to march on OCHA IT unit. I'm bringing the torches. I believe that UNDP'ers are bringing the pitchforks. Angry villagers should not be too hard to come by around here. We should have a good sized mob in no time. Oh, you might be wondering how I'm on my blog at the moment...I snuck out to an NGO's compound. God bless the little NGOs.

Let me describe the scene to you... It's 11.30. I've just gotten home from one dinner and then a second dinner. I'm slightly tired and would like to go to bed. Our house has no electricity so it's pitch black. The phone rings... Other person: We understand that the President is dead. Me: That is an unfounded rumour. The President is not dead. I sent an email earlier to that effect. Other person: People are saying that he is dead. Me: Presidential Affairs has contacted us and they assured us that he is alive and well. Other person: He hasn't been on television. Me: There were pictures of him on TV very much alive just this morning and people saw his motorcade driving around Juba last night. Other person: This morning was a long time ago. He should be on TV tonight. Me: He's not dead. I'm going to go now. When I am informed that he is dead you will be the first person I call. Subsequent to hanging up the phone I realised that I actually can...

A big gold star to whomever comes closest in detailing what the following stands for: BSF OC @ MoFEP re:2. P.S. No ODIs can play.

Two things have happened this week that I thought would never happen. The first is the UN is out to ruin my life by BLOCKING FACEBOOK! Yes, the only way that I can survive being on this compound and attending all the meetings is by being allowed to make sarcastic and snide up-to-the-moment update comments about them. No more. Then, just when I can no longer access facebook the LAST PEOPLE ON EARTH join it. You know them, the people who said they would never join. Well, they've joined. It's official 'everyone' is now on facebook. But I can't access it. Oh, the inhumanity!!

I had a long argument with myself on the drive home today about humanitarian aid, and the international community, and a place called Ezo. Ezo is out on the border of Western Sudan, Congo and Central African Republic. It has the misfortune of being where the Lord’s Resistance Army, of Uganda civil war fame, have chosen to move in and wreak havoc. The long argument I was having was about the contents of an email I received which read: --------------------- Kelsey, I’ve just received the following from the ECS Development Officer in Ezo Diocese. The situation there is horrendous can you organise help? Nic ============ I am hereby submitting this emergency need for help to people in Ezo. Just in the last month there have been about 13 attacks on people in Ezo. People around Ezo have been sqeezed to Ezo town but last week on August 12 & 13 Ezo town was seriously attacked at night by a very big groups of LRA. In which three people died on spot including one of our Lay Readers...

A lot of things can happen to you in Southern Sudan which you can avoid in most other places of the world. You could pick up any number of diseases - including ones that should be eradicated. You could get bit by a snake, scorpion or spider. You can get dropped off in some remote site and not get picked up for six months. But now, apparently, there's a new one to add to the list. A security advisory has just been circulated - importance: high - subject line: Leopard around UNMIS Camp. A leopard. Riiight. I can deal with a hijacking, hostages, road accidents, armed robberies, even aerial bombings but I have no training whatsoever to do in a leopard attack. This would all be less disconcerting if it weren't the very place where I go for a run a few times a week and I don't think I can outrun a leopard. But, let's return to the UN advisory because, surely, they must give some helpful advice... And here it is: "Be extra vigilant and careful. Report to security i...