Sunday, June 15, 2008

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!


Steri Pen. Handheld UV light water purified. Will someone please buy this for me and the other 1.7 billion people without access to clean drinking water?

Seriously. We've got a cholera outbreak in Juba and a Hep E outbreak in Kitgum. I could do some wicked good with about 1000 of these and a team of trainers.


Two types of people...

Well, of course there are more than that. But stick with me on this one... There are the type that like round-trip tickets and the type that prefer one-way tickets.

I like to think of myself in the former category. You're still going somewhere but you always have the safety of coming back, getting out, an end of the road, so to speak. I never saw the charm in the one-way, open ended sort of nonsense and considered it for the truly intrepid traveller - the kind that borders on idiocy.

But I'm changing my mind. I went to Cambridge this weekend and bought one-way tickets the entire way and back. It was freeing. There's no schedule to meet. There's no reason to be any place at any given time. Completely opens up your mind. If you want to stay longer you stay. If you want to leave you leave. Genius.

I think I'm going to think of South Sudan like that. If I have no reason to leave I'll just stay. Why not?

(I also thought about Greta and what she is going to say when she learns that I was, not only, in London but passing right by her on my way out of town. Mea culpa, my friend. You still speaking to me??)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Humanitarian Urban Legends...


I was in a briefing today with the head of logistics. An energetic and talkative British man who, at the time, was describing to me the various varmits (rats, spiders, scorpions) that one would need to kill at any given time in South Sudan. The talk turned to snakes and he clasps his hands together earnestly and says, "There are snakes, you know. Huge snakes. Pythons."

"Really?" I say. "Like how big are we talking here?"

"I've got the pictures," he say. "One killed a guard and, after consuming him, was caught crawling under the fence of the UN compound in Juba. It was electrocuted as it tried to get free."

"Riiiiight," I say. He lost me at guard. "So what you're telling me is that there are python in Juba that are large enough to swallow humans and that some guard (and I know how lazy and comatose some guards can be) was so sound asleep that he allowed him self to be strangled and then eaten by a python and there was no commotion made?"

"Well, he was probably bitten first," the logistician maintains.

"But pythons there aren't poisonous," I bluff. I have no idea whether pythons are poisonous. The whole thing just wreaks of urban legend so I feel justified.

"No," he concedes. "But you don't die from poison with python bites. You die from the infection. And these ones have huge fangs (makes a motion to indicate said fangs were approximately a foot long) and imagine they were sunk into your neck. You'd pass out and then it'd strangle you."

"Riiiight," I say. "You die from infection in about 15 seconds?" I'm on a roll now.

"No, but there'd be an awful gash."

"And a struggle, maybe?"

"Maybe," he says.

"Produce the pictures," I say.

"Ok," he says. And I spend the rest of the day, that is not spent trying to get $3 million dollars to ensure that Aweil East has primary medical facilities, taunting him and his staff who also vouch for the story.

So, upon arriving back home I decide to do some internet research. It turns out that it is an urban legend. Actually, two urban legends. But, and herein the problem lies, part of it is true. The picture was not of a python in Juba that had swallowed a guard and attempted to escape and thereby being electrocuted. The picture was of a python in South Africa that has swallowed an impala and attempted to escape and thereby being electrocuted. According to the website, where you can read more, no one is sure if a python could actually swallow a full-grown adult so that element is dubious.

I feel somewhat vindicated and rest easy knowing that South Africa is nearly 3,000 miles away. Unfortunately, he was right about the scorpions. I'm just going to try not to think about them.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Still in London but thanks for asking...

Hello there, to all of you who have inquired, I am in London and not in Khartoum so don't worry. :)

Monday, June 09, 2008

To sleep or not to sleep...

Ah, the eternal dilemma. I didn't sleep on the plane coming over and don't have meetings until this afternoon. Do I take a snooze for a few hours this morning and risk not being able to sleep tonight or do I plow through in a haze?