Here's the thing...

I would like to apologise to all those who might be reading this and are aware of this purely fictional incident and may not find it as amusing as I do. Any resemblance to characters living or dead is coincidental...although all of them lived, for the record. Once upon a time I got a phone call from an NGO who had people involved in a security incident in which there were reports of heavy gunfire. Their field compound was smack in the middle of the action and their HQ located in a town - let's call it Luba - called me to see what can be done. Now, everyone knows that you shouldn't call me unless you want me to do something and, after more unsuccessful attempts on their part to get someone mobilised in the field area to go check on their compound, they gave me permission to do this. Well, low and behold, we (note: change of pronouns not related to disseminating blame) managed to get the 'army' mobilised to go and check the area. Unfortunately, they found themselves ...

My brain is too small to chock it full of the miscellany that flies at me everyday. Hence, I would like to make a list of all the things that I refuse to remember: 1. When the rainy season begins and ends in Sudan. 2. People's names if I've met them only once or twice. Or, anyone who has a contract shorter than six months. Or anyone I find immemorable. 3. Anyone's birthday. 4. Any phone number. 5. Most meeting times. 6. Sphere standards humanitarian indicators. 7. Anything told to me before I've had enough coffee in the morning. 8. In what state Kwajok is located. 9. Where Nigeria is located. 10. On which border Pakistan neighbours Afghanistan. 11. The type of printer cartridge my printer takes. 12. How much wine costs at Logali. 13. The fiscal year of the U.S., Canada, UK, or any other donor country. 14. How to make excel spreadsheets do just about anything nifty. 15. Flight times. One can simply not save the world and remember all the details. So, i...