How you know it's time to leave Indonesia

1. You see a chicken crossing the road and you spend a good ten minutes seriously considering why the chicken was crossing the road.

2. You’re so tired that you can sleep in any sort of contorted position in any sort of vehicle driving on any condition of road.

3. You’ve reached that special state of zen so that even when your driver decides to play chicken with a TNI army semi it doesn’t phase you.

4. The malaria medication runs out.

5. It drops to the low 90’s and seems cold.

6. You forget what warm water feels like…or why anyone would want warm water for anything.

7. You walk into a western-style toilet and have to stop and think how to use it.

8. Batting mosquitos with an electrified/glorified badminton racquet has become your idea of a ‘well-spent evening’.

9. The thought of eating another kernel of rice makes you physically ill.

10. You can no longer tell if you’re actually in an earthquake or imagining it…and you don’t really care.