After a question from my mother about whether I was still 'gainfully' unemployed I got to thinking about the fine line between 'gainful unemployment' and 'painful unemployment'. It's a fine line, you know. When I moan about my new state in life I find that I'm plied with helpful advice from friends like, 'stop whining, I can see you've been too molly-coddled,' or, (and my personal favorite) 'why don't you get a job?' A job? Now there's an idea! Why didn't I think of that one!
So, I turn to the blog which is the only thing that makes me feel as though I am a successful human being these days. Ok, while not exactly successful then at least participating in the great human drama we fondly refer to as, life.
Unemployment definitely has it's upsides…namely that you can sleep in as long as you like and spend an inordinate amount of time watching bad movies and reading bad fiction and generally loafing about in the manner that we all think we want until it's actually upon us. Living, I find, takes up a lot of time. Getting out of bed, for instance, can take up to three hours. Bad fiction, again, three hours. Thinking about dinner and then actually making it can also take up an hour or two. How on earth did I have time for all this living when I had a job?
However, unemployment has its downsides…namely that you no longer feel as though you are contributing in any meaningful way to…well, anything meaningful. It's mostly like being bored on summer vacation when you were a kid. Painful. And that downside tends to get under your skin and inside your head and you start to think that maybe a job at Starbucks isn't all that bad of an idea. Or, that Starbucks wouldn't want you if you applied anyway. That's the real clincher. Unemployment leaves all this open space and free time for all your demons to come out and play. Demons previously kept under raps by the fact that you have to get up and shower and go to work in the morning where you interacted with other human beings. There are no 'other human beings' in unemployment. There's just you and you're stuck with it.
I'm sure that I will look back on this time with something resembling envy. I'll want to have no responsibilities and sleep until noon and spend the afternoon watching movies. However, at the moment it's something akin to drudgery. Poor me.