There is lizard poo all over my bed. For you long time readers you'll note a trend. A wildcat pooed on my bed in Indonesia. A hedgehog in Darfur. And now, I seem to have a lizard pooing on my bed here. Or several lizards because it's impossible that one benign, reptile can be creating the amount of poo there is on the bed. In fact, I suspect that an entire lizard clan is up there aiming their droppings at my pillow. You wouldn't think that lizards can poo so much but let me assure you, they can.
Now, lizard poo dropping from above I can handle. I draw the line, however, at actual lizards raining down on me. This afternoon I left to office to come back to my room in order to concentrate on a report. Little did I know that I was trading the din of of office staff for the din of lizard wrestling. No kidding. Several of them were balancing on the roof beam that runs across my room having a fight. The WWF of the lizard world going on above my head. I choose to ignore them and go on typing. Only a few moments later something dropped past my left shoulder and hit the floor with a smack. I look over and there is a lizard - looking dazed or dead having just hurtled the 10 feet to the floor. The rest of the lizards carried on screeching at each other.
I threw a shoe and they took off - but now I have Fred here (his name is Fred, incidentally, it just came to me while I stood staring at him.) at my feet slowly coming around. He blinks a few times. I continue to stare and make rustling noises hoping he'll scamper. No such luck. He looks at me. I look at him. I like to think that we had a moment - Fred and I - before I nudged him gently with my shoe toward the door. He got the message eventually, as you would imagine if you were being shoved by a shoe five times the size of yourself, and wriggled his long body out into the daylight.
'Please don't poo on my bed,' I said as he gave a parting look. I'm not sure he'll comply.