Thursday, March 19, 2009

The monkey vs. me...

For those of you who have read this blog for quite some time you will know both about my love of epic battles and about the presence of some rather agressive monkeys (which I maintain are not figures of my imagination) on our Juba compound.

This morning our new HR staff comes in. Mind you, she's been in Juba for one day, having flown in from New Zealand yesterday and says: "Well, I have to say that a monkey playing with a puppy is not something I have ever seen before."

This, of course, raises the curiosity so I went with her and a guard to investigate. There was, actually a monkey in the yard rolling around a poor little puppy (estimated age 4 weeks...pictured above). We got the guard to throw rocks at the monkey long enough to take the puppy away. Needless to say, it was in a state of shock, covered in ticks and fleas so that it's coat is patchy. We got a box (having learned the bucket lesson from the cats) and put it in where it promptly went to sleep.

A few hours later I got on of our staff to take me to a local vet because we clearly need some parasite dip and deworming meds. While we were out the monkey came looking for either me or the puppy. It tipped the milk out all over my desk that I had mixed, it smudged up the proposal I had just printed before it was discovered by other staff and chased out. I suspect that it will be back.

Oh, but I'll be ready. I've decided the aggressive, puppy-abusing monkey needs to be taught a lesson. That lesson will include: 1) why coming into the Tearfund office is a no-no; 2) why messing with Tearfund staff is a no-no; 3) why the puppy is lost and gone forever to it. My teaching method is going to be mace that was thoughtfully supplied to me by the Ava County Sheriff's Dept when they switched over to tazing those that needed to apprehend.

I think the things that I have going for me are: 1) I'm bigger than the monkey; 2) I'm smarter than the monkey (NO COMMENTS!!!); 3) I am not giving the puppy back. The monkey, on the other hand, has going for it: 1) I'm slightly frightened by agrressive mammals with sharp teeth and claws; 2) it's probably sneakier than me and doesn't have to be tied to a desk writing proposals and reports. Will let you know how it goes.

P.S. I've already been told by friends that in this epic battle they're betting on the monkey.

P.P.S. None of the staff are being allowed to name the puppy. I say that you don't get to name animals until you're pretty sure that they're not going to die or you are going to keep them. Otherwise it's just a bad scene when they wake up dead tomorrow or you have to give them away.


Anonymous said...

Lesson 1: Puppy has been already abused by monkey. So at about the age of 4 to 6 months will probably try and take revenge.

Lesson 2: You may have slight problem other than the monkey starting in about 2 to 3 weeks. Puppies will start chewing and bring home everything that they think is going to be fun to destroy, i.e.,newly typed and printed reports, shoes, chair legs, desk legs, etc.

Lesson 3: Build puppy enclosure that has a top. Puppies will scale anything no matter the height in order to get where they want to go.

Lesson 4: Teach sit nd stay NOW! much easier to get your bluff in now than latter.

Lesson 5: Have fun. My Dynamic Duo shows no signs of slowing up.


pellucid said...

Re. Lessons 1 & 2 above - couldn't you kill two birds with one stone and teach the puppy to chew on the monkey?

P.s. more pics of the puppy please.

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Noelle said...

Remember when you tried to put Misha in the Microwave? I'm just saying... Maybe it's not the monkey we should be worried about...