Here's the thing...

--> My watch stopped at 11.12. Standing in the airport our watsan advisor asked me why I was wearing a stopped watch. “I like it,” I said. I didn’t mention that I thought it was appropo of going out to the middle of nowhere the day of the U.S. Election. No electricity, no televisions, no phones, no contact with the rest of the world for a week. It would be like time was standing still. No McCain, Palin, Obama (poor Biden…never got much of a mention). It would be blissful in it’s own cocoon sort of way. Tuesday night I went to sleep with the mice, lizards and bats scratching out a living in the top of my tukul smug in the knowledge that my blissful ignorance might carry on for a full week. There have been few things that I have cared less about than this election and it’s nice sometimes not caring – about everything just because we’re told that we should. But then, on Wednesday morning, I was awoken by the squawk of a badly tuned radio catching a frequency on and o...

The amount of time I spend in meetings discussing issues of grave import that are forgotten a month later is obscene. I mean, really.

I now have a 'commute' in order to get from my house to the office each morning. It has become more complicated recently so I thought I would detail it in case you are ever trying to find my house: 1) Let the guard open the gate. 2) Wait for guard to remove puppy from beneath tires and keep him from running out open gate. (dumb dog) 3) Proceed with caution to avoid hitting other vehicles and/or school children who linger outside gate. 4) Turn left and proceed until the dirt track becomes a dirt football pitch. 5) Drive diagonally along the football pitch until it dead ends on a dirt road. 6) Wait for any SPLA vehicles driving out to their base as they contain men with a lot of guns. 7) Angle vehicle onto dirt road to avoid jarring bump. 8) Avoid mattatoos, people out brushing their teeth, water trucks, septic trucks, and school children. 9) Upon arriving at the large tire go right and proceed up over giant mound of dirt. 10) Drive on the right side of the n...

blatantly pilfered from John Ashworth... Why Sudan Matters Jon TeminSudan team leader, U.S. Institute of PeacePosted: November 24, 2009 06:04 PM Foreign policy realists sometimes ask how much seemingly marginal states such as Sudan really matter. The answer is that Sudan matters for many reasons, none more important than the millions dead and displaced due to decades of unnecessary internal violence. Sudan matters now more than ever because two seminal events are quickly approaching -- elections in 2010 and a referendum on the unity of thecountry in 2011 -- and the international community is increasinglyconcerned that they will lead to new and renewed violence and displacement. With the recent release of its long-awaited Sudan policy, Sudan matters to the Obama Administration and its efforts to transform the president's popularity abroad into tangible achievements. But Sudan also matters because what is happening right now in Sudan,and what will happen in the next two years...

http://www.sudantribune.com/spip.php?article33220 Let's play 'track the delays', shall we?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8369689.stm Sure...they say they 'don't know the reason why' but I'm sure she's not wanting to draw attention away from the full implementation of the CPA through the January 2011 referendum. Bless you, Oprah, bless you.

Azerbaijan - not a ‘stan’ but could be if it wanted to… I have never set out to produce the definitive guide of anything. It’s an impossible task if you were visiting holiday paradises like Kazakhstan or Turkmenistan. But, I was not. I was visiting Azerbaijan and I had it on good authority that you could see everything that is to be seen in a week and, upon flying in over the Absheron peninsula, it seemed plausible to me. Now, you would not be wrong if you referred to my version of travel tales as ‘skewed’. Coming from Sudan, it is difficult to arrive anywhere else in the world without a sense of euphoric celebration over things like tarmacked roads, running water and electricity. So, when I declared that Azerbaijan was ‘just like heaven.’ My friend couldn't help but agree while dryly pointing out and swerving to avoid (or hit?) a pedestrian and another car simultaneously, ‘but it’s not. It’s Azerbaijan.’ Absheron Peninsula – where pollution goes to die… When you visit – ...

It was one thing when UN IT blocked YouTube. I could understand that. Then, they cranked it up a notch and killed Facebook. That stung a little bit. Then, they blocked my sister's blog which, I'll give you could be perceived as undermining the UN at times. But now they've gone too far. They've banned my blog. Yes, like I say anything that could be taken as vaguely critical of the UN! It's shocking and it cannot be stomached. Time to march on OCHA IT unit. I'm bringing the torches. I believe that UNDP'ers are bringing the pitchforks. Angry villagers should not be too hard to come by around here. We should have a good sized mob in no time. Oh, you might be wondering how I'm on my blog at the moment...I snuck out to an NGO's compound. God bless the little NGOs.

Let me describe the scene to you... It's 11.30. I've just gotten home from one dinner and then a second dinner. I'm slightly tired and would like to go to bed. Our house has no electricity so it's pitch black. The phone rings... Other person: We understand that the President is dead. Me: That is an unfounded rumour. The President is not dead. I sent an email earlier to that effect. Other person: People are saying that he is dead. Me: Presidential Affairs has contacted us and they assured us that he is alive and well. Other person: He hasn't been on television. Me: There were pictures of him on TV very much alive just this morning and people saw his motorcade driving around Juba last night. Other person: This morning was a long time ago. He should be on TV tonight. Me: He's not dead. I'm going to go now. When I am informed that he is dead you will be the first person I call. Subsequent to hanging up the phone I realised that I actually can...

A big gold star to whomever comes closest in detailing what the following stands for: BSF OC @ MoFEP re:2. P.S. No ODIs can play.

Two things have happened this week that I thought would never happen. The first is the UN is out to ruin my life by BLOCKING FACEBOOK! Yes, the only way that I can survive being on this compound and attending all the meetings is by being allowed to make sarcastic and snide up-to-the-moment update comments about them. No more. Then, just when I can no longer access facebook the LAST PEOPLE ON EARTH join it. You know them, the people who said they would never join. Well, they've joined. It's official 'everyone' is now on facebook. But I can't access it. Oh, the inhumanity!!

Gradually it was disclosed to me that the line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either—but right through every human heart—and through all human hearts. This line shifts. Inside us, it oscillates with the years. And even within hearts overwhelmed by evil, one small bridgehead of good is retained. And even in the best of hearts, there remains… an unuprooted small corner of evil. —Alexander Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

I had a long argument with myself on the drive home today about humanitarian aid, and the international community, and a place called Ezo. Ezo is out on the border of Western Sudan, Congo and Central African Republic. It has the misfortune of being where the Lord’s Resistance Army, of Uganda civil war fame, have chosen to move in and wreak havoc. The long argument I was having was about the contents of an email I received which read: --------------------- Kelsey, I’ve just received the following from the ECS Development Officer in Ezo Diocese. The situation there is horrendous can you organise help? Nic ============ I am hereby submitting this emergency need for help to people in Ezo. Just in the last month there have been about 13 attacks on people in Ezo. People around Ezo have been sqeezed to Ezo town but last week on August 12 & 13 Ezo town was seriously attacked at night by a very big groups of LRA. In which three people died on spot including one of our Lay Readers...

A lot of things can happen to you in Southern Sudan which you can avoid in most other places of the world. You could pick up any number of diseases - including ones that should be eradicated. You could get bit by a snake, scorpion or spider. You can get dropped off in some remote site and not get picked up for six months. But now, apparently, there's a new one to add to the list. A security advisory has just been circulated - importance: high - subject line: Leopard around UNMIS Camp. A leopard. Riiight. I can deal with a hijacking, hostages, road accidents, armed robberies, even aerial bombings but I have no training whatsoever to do in a leopard attack. This would all be less disconcerting if it weren't the very place where I go for a run a few times a week and I don't think I can outrun a leopard. But, let's return to the UN advisory because, surely, they must give some helpful advice... And here it is: "Be extra vigilant and careful. Report to security i...

I seem to be on a run of receiving amusing emails. Or, I'm losing it due to the sheer volume of emails I'm receiving. Either way, I just received an email which stated: ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From: ngoforumSC2009 On Behalf Of [someone who shall remain nameless] Sent: 03 August 2009 14:16 To: [other nameless individuals] Subject: [SC NGO Forum] RE: EC This was a meeting that we agreed to organize with the EC, and I have just sent a confirmation email. Obviously the original timing would have been best to organize at the same time as an existing SC meeting, however it seems that I had the dates a little confused and that this doesn’t actually correspond with an existing SC meeting – my apologies. If Jesus is still able to meet then perhaps it would be best to meet at his convenience. [emphasis mine] I think that the plan for the meeting with the EC was to just make an introduction of the SC and understand more about ...

To quote from an email I just received: Dear All, Kindly refer to the attached detail budget breakdown Micro plan as per each State. However, EPI,MoH/GoSS has completed transfer of July, 20,2009, for routine EPI acceleration - GAVI funding. is for you to implement July acceleration. NB; three whom we did not transfer it's fund are those whom we did not received their liqudation reports e.g E.EQ, W.EQ. and Jonglei. Uhhh...riiiight.

10. Economists actually believe that the world is a rational place and human beings are rational as well. 9. No matter what one economists says there will be a hundred others to tell you how wrong and stupid you are for believing the first economist. 8. Economics isn't a science but economists pretend it is. "Economics isn't like physics or chemistry, where you're measuring fairly well-defined, discrete things. Economics is every person on the planet eating, buying crap they don’t need, and laying crazy bets because they’re sure this is the Red Sox’s year." 7. Economists don't actually know any more than you do about the economy. They just have a few degrees and the accompanying condescending attitude. 6. Economists love theories and theoretical ideas which either won't work, or would be detrimental, if implemented. But when the ideas are turned into actual practice or policy that proves detrimental then the economist just shrug and blame it on ...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/jun/21/sudan-humanitarian-disaster

Haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Recent warden message from the 'ole USG: "The Department of State continues to warn against all travel to Sudan, particularly in the Darfur area, where violence between government forces, rebel factions, and various armed militias continues." You don't say! Seriously? Someone should do something about that... "American citizens who choose to travel to Sudan despite the existing Travel Warning, and those currently in Sudan, should review their security posture and take appropriate precautions." Excuse me folks...am going to have to take a few moments to review my 'security posture'.

errrr...mostly...

I don't know how many of you have had the opportunity to go to court in Sudan so for those of you who haven't I'm going to paint you a little picture so that you know what you are getting yourself into the next time a Sudanese court date or Sudanese jury duty appears on your calendar. Oh, whoops, except there's no jury. The court is about a stone's throw from my office, as it turns out and amazingly clean and tidy. Inside the cement compound there are dozens of shifty looking men all standing in clusters around the the dirt courtyard. Our Dinka lawyer (who's about 7'8") swept across the yard and ushered me directly into the court room. It was sparcely decorated but, surprisingly, clean. The judge, a dour Northerner who spoke only in Arabic, sat at a large desk. Facing her was another desk at which the defendant (former employee who embezzled a rather large sum of money from us)and I stood. Our lawyer stood at one end and a police officer sat at the o...

If this blog has taught us nothing else I believe it is that relief and development is an amusing way to fill one's day, problematic to its crunchy-hard-currency-filled core, and so chock full of contradictions that describing it is like trying to nail jello. And aid workers, as a group, get painted with the 'saint' brush a little more often than necessary when most of us are paid quite well and find our job difficult but also engaging, important and fulfilling. It's really not very sacrificial when you get right down to it. This makes it difficult to come up against real need. Real need outside the bounds of the $10 million projects that donors pony up the cash for without blinking. Here in Juba there are a couple of women working with the government to work with some street kids - 45 street kids to be exact - who they have managed to get into school by day and a shifty government building at night. However, they can't feed them. And, by next week, they need ...

I don't like to think of humanitarian aid workers as a bunch of soft, spoiled, whinging whiners but, more often than not, I think that just might be what we are. Yesterday was a public holiday and therefore, in accordance with - oh THE LAW - we gave all our national staff the day off. Including the cooks. This doesn't seem to me to be all that big of a deal. We're a bunch of grown ups. Surely we can hunt-and-gather our own food for a day...surely we won't waste away to nothing and be found by the cooks when they return (THE FOLLOWING DAY!) as a heap of corpses in front of the refrigerator our cold dead fingers having to be pried from the door that we were unable to open. Apparently, I was wrong. And I was told so in no uncertain terms in our senior managers meeting for at least half an hour. HALF AN HOUR discussion about whether we should pay the cooks overtime to come in on a public holiday. Seriously, the higher I am in senior management the sillier the discuss...

These are the many poses of the puppy sleeping. He has been named: Jasper...pronounced by all the Brits as: Jaspa. And, these are the last of the photos. I swear I'm not becoming one of 'those' people.

To feel the sand between ones teeth.. Our near weekly dust storms here in the field are something of a curse and a blessing. A blessing because they blot out the sun for a precious day of not dripping in sweat. A curse because you literally feel the gritty, salty taste of dirt between your teeth the whole day through. Must everything be a double-edged sword?

After sitting in my little tukul almost all day on Saturday I had enough. I needed to get out and so I went for a walk. And once I started walking I was overcome by the strangest urge to just keep on walking. I mean, just keep going. Now, I’m the person who coined the phrase, ‘if God had intended us to walk he wouldn’t have given us cars’ so I’m not normally a fan of ‘footing’, as they call it here. I think of walking as a means to an end, just like driving - only the latter is more expedient. You walk, or run, or hike, or trek, or drive in order to 1) get where you’re going, or 2) exercise, or, 3) see some beautiful mountain/hike as the case may be. That’s it. I have never gotten some high or endorphine rush from either walking or running. That’s why I found it so unusual that on Saturday I just felt like walking. It might have something to do with being in the middle of nowhere and I was on a dirt track that goes somewhere. It wasn’t to get anywhere, it wasn’t particularly beaut...

For those of you who have read this blog for quite some time you will know both about my love of epic battles and about the presence of some rather agressive monkeys (which I maintain are not figures of my imagination) on our Juba compound. This morning our new HR staff comes in. Mind you, she's been in Juba for one day, having flown in from New Zealand yesterday and says: "Well, I have to say that a monkey playing with a puppy is not something I have ever seen before." This, of course, raises the curiosity so I went with her and a guard to investigate. There was, actually a monkey in the yard rolling around a poor little puppy (estimated age 4 weeks...pictured above). We got the guard to throw rocks at the monkey long enough to take the puppy away. Needless to say, it was in a state of shock, covered in ticks and fleas so that it's coat is patchy. We got a box (having learned the bucket lesson from the cats) and put it in where it promptly went to sleep. A f...

You know your week (series of weeks?) is not going well when the highlight of your day becomes flavoured water. That has been the highlight of my day for the past two weeks. It’s getting hot in Sudan now. Really hot. Up in the 110-20’s hot. And so by about 1.30 you can hardly stand to be outside, much less string together a cohesive sentence or finish an email. Mostly, you feel like putting your head down on the desk and going to sleep in a pool of your own sweat and waiting until the sun sets before you regain consciousness. Of course, you can’t do this because, well, you are a responsible professional that has work to doing and people are outside carrying water over two hours for their families so you’re pretty much just a big whiner. Needless to say the need to stay hydrated in this environment is challenging but important. I have addressed this by making drinking water my hobby. Everyone needs a hobby. It goes a little something like this. We’re supposed to drink between 5-7...

Sometimes the only thing that can make one of your favourite watering holes better is a fountain in the form of a gorilla that spits water surrounded by a dog (or is that a goat?), and alligator. Makes me happy every time I see it.

Kittens...not just delicious...also giant pains in the ass...You see, it all started about two weeks ago... “Do you think I should take this bucket?” I shouted to Sarah who happened to be in the toilet at the time. “Why?” she shouted back. “Cause we have to put the kittens in something,” I carried on the conversation from the other side of the bathroom door. “Get a box,” she sagely advised. We were going to collect some kitties. Not your average evening activity in Juba so let me explain. There is a google group called Jubalicious on which people post adverts, announcements, etc. And, those loyal readers, will recall that several of our field sites have mentioned that they would like to have some cats to keep the rodent and snake population at bay. So, when a Jubalicious post announcing that six cute kittens were up for grabs I immediately replied that we would take two. Motot wanted them…if you’re still trying to figure out why go to previous posts on snakes in Motot. ...

In the past week I have gotten a short course on food security for a number of reasons and I found it so interesting I thought I would share. First of all, what is food security? Well, it’s basically having enough food in order to live a productive life. Most of the developed world is what we would call ‘food secure’ however, there are pockets in every society that are still ‘food insecure’ because food security is not only about the availability of food (of which there is plenty in the developed world) but about access to that food. So, if your average inner city kid in Washington, DC could be surrounded by food but still be food insecure because she can’t access it. Her family lacks the money, or the money is spent on other things. The difference between the inner city kid and the developing world is that in the developed world there is (hopefully) a complex web of civil society / governmental safety nets to keep her from starving. Her parents might get food stamps, or a local ch...

I know that you probably feel that I am fascinated by either 1) food or 2) latrines. And you would be right. I spend a vast quantity of any given day on one of these two issues and not just personally – but also professionally. When half of your job is finding out why people are starving or ill these two things are bound to come up. So, it should come as no surprise today as I was headed off to our pit latrine and about to walk into a cholera outbreak meeting that I was thinking about toilets. I was thinking mostly about why we have them. I don’t know if you think about this on anything resembling a regular basis but I know that I usually don’t. At home, I don’t know how to turn off the water in my house, much less where it comes from. I don’t know which wires carry electricity to my house in which volts and where it comes from. You get the idea. And neither do I care much as long as it works. In the field, you know about all these things – intimately – and probably a little too muc...